Slices of Nerd Domestic Bliss

Donna: If I had to be trapped on a desert island with only one person, it would be you.

Charles: If I had to be trapped on a desert island with only one person, I'd want someone who looked remarkably like a boat.

Donna: If we ever get engaged, you don't have to buy me a ring. Just get me one of those new iPhones.

Charles: Er… something you’ll want to replace after a year when a better version comes out?

Agnes: So Donna’s into World of Warcraft?

Charles: Yeah. It's like one of those movies.

“Hey, Charles is lost. We’d better send in a search party to find him.”

“Great. Now we’ve lost the search party too.”

Swine Flu FAQ

What is swine flu?

According to the Center for Disease Control, swine influenza A (H1N1) is a flu virus that normally infects pigs. Occasionally the virus mutates so that it can infect humans, and since the human immune system is not properly equipped to deal with the virus it can be quite a serious infection.

Is swine flu dangerous?

The exact danger is not known. On one hand, existing flu vaccinations are unlikely to protect against swine flu. On the other, so far it seems that swine flu can be treated with common retroviral medication. In the USA, the CDC has released a quarter of its stockpile of these drugs to treat the current outbreak.

What are the symptoms of swine flu?

At first the virus presents with normal flu symptoms: a cough, fever, sore throat, body aches, chills and fatigue. As the disease advances sufferers may experience diarrhea or vomiting. Once the disease reaches its final stages, sufferers will experience hair loss, gradual pinkening of the skin, facial swelling that causes the patient's nose to widen and flatten, and an intense urge to roll in mud.

Are there other variants of swine flu?

Most, if not all of the fatal cases related to swine flu have been in Mexico, but it is not yet known if these deaths were caused by a more dangerous strain of the flu, or just because of differences in available medical treatment. In addition, some cases of swine flu outside of the USA have been reported to be thicker and less crispy than the American counterparts. (This variant has been named “Canadian Swine Flu”).

How did H1N1 pass from pigs to humans?

The CDC are performing an in-depth study to attempt to trace the flu back to its original source. So far they have been unsuccessful, but they have come up with the following composite drawing of “Patient 0”. Anyone who knows someone who fits this description who may have recently visited Mexico should immediately contact the authorities.

25 Things…

I was tagged with yet another of those ‘tell me a list of things I don't know about you’ memes, this time on Facebook. So for those of you who care, here is another random 25 facts about Yours Truly.

  1. I cannot fall asleep without the sound of Donna Summer's "Back in Love Again" playing in the background.
  2. Halfway through my first ever driving lesson, the instructor informed me that you do not, in fact, have to make the "brmmm brmmm!" noises yourself.
  3. At seven years of age, I met Chuck Norris. I still have a small scar just next to my left eye.
  4. I find it difficult to keep friends for very long. As an attempt to remedy this, I've taken to fitting their ankles with radio receivers so I can track them as they migrate.
  5. My favourite dance is the Lambada, the forbidden dance.
More? Oh yes there's more!Collapse )

The Pasta of Ill-Repute

Today was Donna’s birthday. The original plan was to go out to a restaurant somewhere, but seeing as I woke up feeling like I’d been run over by a bus (or at least by the latest virus to be going around) we shelved that idea.

“Aha,” I thought. “I’ll cook dinner. Sure-fire brownie-points.”

Well, maybe not entirely sure-fire. I’ve not had the best of records cooking for girlfriends. Provided I don’t screw this up entirely, though, I should be home free.

Still there was the problem of that run-over feeling. I needed something that tasted nice but that I could make easily, using ingredients from no further than the deli round the corner. Thankfully, my mother had provided the solution a year ago in the form of a present, namely the Bloke’s tasty no-fuss recipes cook-book.

I found the one meat-free recipe in the book (anchovies don’t count as meat), staggered to the deli to source the ingredients, and then decided to brag to Vidya on IM about what a good boyfriend I was being.

Vidya: So what are you cooking?
Charles: Oh, spaghetti with this tomato-and-stuff sauce.
Vidya: No, what is it called?
Charles: I don’t know, I never really looked. I could go get the book if you really want.
Vidya: Go on, I want to know.
Charles: OK, it's… er… spaghetti puttanesca.
Vidya: You realise what that means, right?

Yes. I had carefully prepared to cook, to celebrate my girlfriend’s birthday… Whore’s Spaghetti.

For the record, it was delicious.

When life approximates xkcd

Charles and Donna, lazy Sunday morning, trying to avoid getting up and facing the day:

Donna: Still love me?
Charles: Of course. I’m never going to give you up.
Charles: I’m never going to let you down.
Charles: Never…
Donna: You did not just Rickroll me.


The top 20 most listened to theme songs in the last week, as tracked by

The top five are: Knight Rider, MacGyver, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Baywatch and Inspector Gadget

On a similar note: my new favouritest Wikipedia page ever, List of problems solved by MacGyver:

MacGyver uses his pocket knife to disarm the self-destruct device of a downed military satellite. He then uses parts of the satellite’s retrieval system - namely metal tubing and large sheets of flexible plastic - to fashion a makeshift hang glider.

…which narrowly beats the List of Scientology Security Checks:

This long Sec Check, consisting of hundreds of questions, takes stock of the subject’s entire time track, including all their past lives. It includes questions such as:

  • Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
  • Have you ever smothered a baby?
  • Have you ever enslaved a population?
  • Have you ever destroyed a culture?
  • Have you ever torn out someone’s tongue?
  • Have you ever zapped anyone?
  • Have you ever eaten a human body?
  • Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?

Music suggestions anyone?

Over the last five years or so, my consumption of new music has dropped pretty dramatically. I blame the iPod, which has led me to spend most of my time with my own music collection when I used to listen to the radio and hear new stuff.

So I want to know what CDs were released in the last year that you think would make my aural world a better place. Tell me why if you can.

Thanks in advance.